Do you ever get tired of same old routines? Do you ever find yourself wondering, “what’s more to this life that I’m living?” Lately, that’s all I’ve been thinking about.

There’s a lot going on in my life right now, this is just a prelude to big news yet to come. I’ve been tired, exhausted even. This exhaustion is a product of intense sadness. I’m tired of everything at this point, so instead of sleeping 9+ hours a day, I’m doing something about it.

In the words of one hit wonder, Stacie Orrico, “I’m chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me.” I’m always chasing that something I think is going to make me happy. It’s like I learned in my philosophy class, some things are only temporary. It’s like buying Adidas shoes and a Starbucks coffee. Well honey, money can’t buy you happiness.

I spent quite some time talking to one of my good friends about finding faith. I’ve come to the conclusion that if I want faith, I have to go and find it for myself. The same thing is true for that one (or a few) missing thing(s) in my life. I think that certain something is a dream of mine. Lately, I’ve just been praying to God to get me to New York, or some city! Watching The Carrie Diaries, definitely put some things in perspective for me in terms of going after what I want. At this point, all I want to do is write and read poetry.

Getting things off your chest is one way to know what you want. I’ll say this again, I’m tired. All the time. I’m tired of settling for something just because it’s all what’s available to me. I want to have more control over my life. I want to have control over the classes I take, my future, and the degree(s) that I covet — just to name a few.

Well, I’m sorry if this is shorter than what you had expected. There’s just so much going on in my life right now that I can’t disclose it all at once. Again, this is just a prelude to what I’m going to say after I finally have control and a new outlook on life.

Ta-ta for now!

April