coming of age – The April Diaries

Catch-25 | What you need to know before you turn 25

Published on May 21, 2022 by The April DiariesLeave a comment

“Breakthroughs happen to people who are scared to stop trying.” — Derek Shepherd, “Grey’s Anatomy.”

I remember when I was 23, I picked up a book at Porter Square Books in Providence. It was called Such A Fun Age by Kiely Reid. Then in a blink of an eye, I turned 25. How’d that happen? I spent my 24th year immersed in grad school and working in retail, and got my first “big girl job” as a content editor. At this age (25), I found an emotionally-connected love, a coaching business, and graduated with my masters in publishing and writing. Here’s the Catch-25 though, it’s the breakthrough that comes when you’re on the cusp of a brand new year. There’s a series of lessons that you will indubitably learn by the time you hit the next age. I’m turning 26 in exactly one week (May 28) and in this moment, watching Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, I’ve never felt more grateful.

But you’re probably still wondering, what is this breakthrough? Well, my loves, the breakthrough comes in the form of a “Sex and the City” quote: “you can’t stop being who you are because you’re afraid.” I know I’ve said that in past posts, but this is especially true, since this morning was the first I’ve done yoga in two weeks… yikes! But I felt just confident enough in my new(er) yogi-abilities that I went HARD in just a simple morning yoga routine on the Yoga app. THAT is when you know you’re getting something out of it, instead of thinking, “when will this end?”

That’s another thing, you don’t just give up. Picture this: someone is carrying mass amount of weight on their back, literally. They learn, overtime, to lighten the load. One step at a time. And you will get there. You will lose your balance from time to time, but you learn to get back on track.

The funny thing is, I wish I knew this when I was 19. I had given up on a dream of becoming an oncologist. Before that, I wanted to be a lawyer with a cool chemistry background. It’s kind of a “coulda-shoulda-woulda” situation. The worst of that trio is “shoulda.” But the fact of the matter is, and this is another “catch-25,” to be who you desire to be, you have to live like her/him/them. And the trick is to not “should” yourself, but to say “I am.”

I realize this is different from previous “To the girl who is turning [insert age here]” posts. But there really aren’t any “tips” for 25. You don’t need Sponge Bob Squarepants and Patrick Star to giggle profusely at you. But hey, when life gets tough, you gotta see the positives and laugh some sh*t off!

Coming to Peace With Your Past|A Decade in Review

Published on December 30, 2019 by The April Diaries2 Comments

In Beyonce’s 2013 Pepsi commercial, she says at the end, “embrace your past.” This phrase didn’t ring 100% true to me until this year — the end of the decade. I’m not going to do a year in review simply because it’s the end of the 2010s and into the 2020s. Everything I’ve learned, everything I’ve become, everything I could be, happened all in this decade.

2010: My dad was fighting cancer, and I’ve learned how to live with his illness, resultantly. This meant learning how to sacrifice. This was also the year I was introduced to social media.

2011: This is the year I broke. Not only was I dealing with a four-month diagnosis of mono, but also with depression and being bullied severely.

2012: I was accepted to my top-choice private school at the beginning of January and at the end of the year, I had my first boyfriend and heartbreak within exactly two weeks!

2013: A whirlwind of things happened this year. I got my license, and I became cold-blooded — something I am not proud of. But I did discover Vine and Instagram!

2014: Began looking at colleges, did [insert an Ivy League school’s pre-college summer program] and hated it. I then started working at the hospital where my dad was treated. I also had appendicitis… who knew I would ever need surgery?

2015: Left high school behind (meaning I graduated… 8th in my class🤓). I also started college.

2016: I moved to Rhode Island two days before my twentieth birthday, and I started writing and editing for The Odyssey. In October, I went through a bad breakup. I also started writing for Her Culture. Did I mention I also started this blog!?

2017: Okay, just read ‘Cause I Still Got A Lotta Fight Left In Me | My Hospital Stay | My Mental Illness(es) where I made two bold decisions: 1) to get a diagnosis and 2) to transfer and start over at RWU.

2018: I interned at Rhode Island Monthly, and it was one of the best experiences I’ve had. For more, read Here’s To The Best Summer Of My Life: A Reflection.

2019: Easy. I wrote a thesis on Docupoetics, got into Title IX advocacy, and met my love (hi, Steve! And THANK YOU, Bumble!).

I’m just going to talk about the year 2019 a little bit more in-depth. 2019 was more about learning my worth as a human being, so much more than I thought I ever would learn. Learning about who you are is one thing, but your worth is another. You can say who you are in a thirty-second elevator pitch, but you shouldn’t even have to explain your worth. I learned not to take any sh*t from sheep from different farms. I found that I am not only creative, but I am seriously courageous and surely resilient. That’s not something you can put in an Instagram bio. Speaking of bios, I went from writing “I run what you run in 10 years in 2 days” meaning I went from an immature, sub-tweeting high school track star to saying “#supportsurvivors” [of sexual assault]. With that being said, I found a career.

Coming to peace with your past is like Beyonce looking at all her past music video outfits in the dancing mirrors. I don’t know what it’s like to be in a music video, but I sure know what it’s like to see yourself in the mirror and look at how much you’ve changed in ten years’ time. Coming to peace with your past is all about moving on, learning from your mistakes and ultimately accepting them. That’s not to say there won’t be regrets. But whoever said, “will it matter in 5-10 years?” was so right.

So I say this: here’s to a new decade of life and blessings. Here’s to a decade of keeping your worth at the forefront of your wind. Here’s to a decade of more blog posts, and who knows? Maybe I’ll have a novel published at this time and I’ll be a leader of social justice. No more settling for less than you deserve, being treated as less than you are and keeping journal pages clean and full of words left unsaid.

Happy New Year! 🥂

For The Girl About To Turn 21 | Moving Onto 22

Published on May 27, 2018May 27, 2018 by The April Diaries4 Comments

Boston. There’s just something about it that makes you feel connected to everyone and everything in it, no matter where you’re from. For those of you who don’t know, I used to live in Massachusetts and went to high school in Newton. So really, Boston was all I ever really known, besides my own small town.

As a part of my birthday weekend, my dad took my cousins and me to Assembly. We first stopped at Cafe Nero, and it’s better coffee than anything I’ve ever had. Seriously, try their Cafe au lait (that’s “coffee with milk” in French).

There’s just something about the city in general that just makes me feel at home. By this time, I’ve lived in Rhode Island for two whole years.

Yes, I’ll be turning 22 tomorrow, May 28. PLEASE don’t play that annoying Taylor Swift song! My 21st year has been one for the books. I’m currently sitting in the Middletown Starbucks contemplating this past year. I’ve grown mentally, in muscle mass (I do love my upper body workouts), academically, and professionally. I said this once and I’ll say it one more time: I’ve lived this year with absolutely no regrets, and that was my ultimate goal in life.

So, for the girl about to turn 21, or turned 21 recently, here’s what you need to know:

1.) ALWAYS have your ID ready. Just because you’re 21, that doesn’t mean your server will necessarily trust you on that.

2.) Your parents (especially your mom) are always right.

3.) Stick up for yourself and your rights as a human being in this crazy, scary world of ours.

4.) It’s absolutely okay to be single.

5.) Don’t use your phone ALL THE TIME.

6.) Try something new.

7.) Find that one older “mentor” that you look up to.

8.) If you’re thinking about transferring colleges, weigh out the pros and cons and just do it.

9.) It’s always okay to say ‘no.’

10.) You don’t have to please everybody.

11.) Focus on YOU and only YOU — don’t worry about what other people think of you.

12.) Pray. God is good.

13.) Follow your dreams, if you know what you want to do with your life. Email that company you’ve been dying to intern at.

14.) Don’t be so hard on yourself. We all make mistakes.

15.) Don’t have high expectations. You’re being introduced to the real world.

16.) Workout — it releases endorphins!

17.) Write — it helps with any situation, especially poetry.

18.) Take a class on something you never thought you’d want to learn. I mean, hey, for my Arts Management minor, I’m taking business classes.

19.) Clean up your social media. Get rid of those toxic people from your friend list.

20.) Cry. It’s healthy. The feeling sucks, but it’s temporary.

21.) Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

22.) And finally, for one to grow on, if you want something to happen, you have to make it happen.

Being 21 definitely brought some realizations of who I really am. This is your chance to find out who you really are, too.

I already know that 22 will be a fantastic year. I’ll be doing what I love: writing and editing. Also, I’m pleased to announce that I’ve been selected as my Campus Entertainment Network’s Public Relations Chair! ☺

The next time you hear from me, I’ll be an intern/working girl. Be ready to hear all about my adventures in Providence!