Someone once told me that “happiness doesn’t get you anywhere.” Well, they were so wrong. I recently shared a video on Facebook that talked about the idea of cheating and hurting other people based on your own insecurities. All I could say is, they nailed it right on the head.
In today’s society, there are so many outside factors that deteriorate our confidence. Confidence is such a broad term, and it took me a while to grasp it. I first heard the term and tried to apply it to myself in seventh grade. I’ve read plenty of Seventeen magazines prior to that year, but I was too young to fully understand it.
In seventh grade, I tried to “up” my confidence by dressing, well, not like a seventh grader, let’s put it that way. I did this because I was actually trying to hide my own insecurities, especially since I was being bullied. In reality, I was only hurting myself.
The year before, sixth grade, a.k.a one of the worst years of my life, I look back at it now and say I was completely confident, despite the people trying to bring me down and talking about me behind my back and, worse, to my face (like, b*tch, I can hear you *eye roll*).
I really had fashion to lie back on during the tumultuous years of middle school and the first half of my freshman year. When I transferred high schools, I loved the idea of being able to speak my mind and share my stories. I didn’t let anyone bring me down until I was starting to rely on what people of authority thought of me. So then, I was basing my confidence on my smarts and the fact that I was trying to be a redheaded Barbie doll.
It’s easy to say that now I look nothing like the Barbie doll I tried to be. But I read an essay in my Literary Philosophy class this past semester by Jane Hamill that was appropriately titled, “A Grown-Up Barbie.” Needless to say, I related to that story on all levels. I wanted to be in the fashion world and go to meetings in Paris and New York. Now, I’m going to meetings in Providence and I’m never going to stop chasing my dreams, even when I’m in New York one day.
My point in that last paragraph? I feel confident when I’m pursuing my own dreams, and not what people want me to be/do. If anyone is trying to tear you down, that only means they’re being insecure, and newsflash, you don’t have to worry about them whatsoever. There will obviously be people who just want the best for you, so do take their advice because who knows? It could be valuable one day.
I got the inspiration to write this blog post yesterday when I ran/walked over a mile at personal training for the first time in 2+ years, and I can honestly say I felt 10x more confident.
What is confidence? Confidence is:
1.) Believing in yourself.
2.) Not listening to others when they try to put you down.
3.) Staying away from the toxicity of others.
4.) KNOWING YOUR WORTH.
5.) Knowing what makes YOU happy.
One last piece of advice, if you’re not pissing people off with your confidence, you’re not doing it right. But really, there’s no “right way” to be confident. Do your own thang!
To pump yourself up, even if it’s just on your way to your internship, listen to these tunes:
- “One Girl Revolution,” SuperChick
- “Confident,” Demi Lovato
- Any Destiny’s Child song
- “Girl On Fire,” Alicia Keys
- “All Of The Lights,” Kanye West
- “Sorry Not Sorry,” Demi Lovato
- “Miss Independent,” Kelly Clarkson
- “Comin’ Up,” Sammy Adams