January 2022 Reflection: Recognizing Anxiety, Achievements, And Who I Am

It was almost 6:00 a.m. on a Thursday morning and I felt like I was drowning in a glass tube that only got smaller and smaller, tighter and tighter, and my TMJ was acting up. I’m verbally begging the pain in my left jaw to stop as my tears ricocheted off my cheeks and onto my cotton-candy pink sweater. At the same time, it also feels like I’m on dry land because my throat is pleading for water and Advil. Thoughts of the annoyances of the past scratch dangerously beneath the surface of my skin. Will somebody, please, make it stop! My eyes see something of a pink and indigo Van Gogh painting and I can almost see my blood turning green, right where the scab on my thumb is.

This, my friends, is an anxiety attack I had last week.

For once, I’m able to write down what an anxiety attack feels like for me. Also for once, I choose my choice to be a writer because it’s who I am. A few minutes later, the scab turns into nothing as I sit down at my laptop to write my manuscript for my third book (…which got picked up!).

It’s so easy to feel like we’re never enough, and forget about the ways we’ve grown. Remembering our growth can make us feel more confident about tackling the future. This month, I read more books than I ever did in one month’s time span, saw a dietician, scored a full-time job, kept my sobriety in check (I’ve been sober for one month!), drank more water, and re-started submitting my art and poetry to literary outlets.

I quoted this A Cinderella Story quote in Unstoppable | How I’ve Been After a Month’s Hiatus but the same quote still applies; “never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.” In other words, don’t give up. If people are being negative around you and trying to feed off your positivity, don’t you dare let their negative, growly, bitchiness cross your line of hope for your own future and present. After all, the present is what really matters here.

How To Achieve Your Goals In 2022 Without Losing Your Mind

Hi everyone! First of all, happy New Year. Second, I don’t know about you but I *used* to suck at achieving my New Years’ resolutions. But I’ll be honest with you, the concept of a “New Year’s resolution” is crap, and I’ll tell you why; the name in it of itself sounds intimidating and it sounds like something you absolutely have to achieve, simultaneously putting unnecessary pressure on yourself. However, if you turn that phrase into just simply “goals,” it sheds the pressure.

For example, one of my goals this year is to feel better in my body by intermittent fasting and eating foods that are good for me and give me energy. I was worried at first about losing weight because I thought I’d go straight back into unhealthy eating and drinking habits. Oh yeah, and I quit drinking alcohol cold turkey, which was surprisingly easy! But if you change the phrase, “losing weight” into “being healthier,” again, it sounds less intimidating and actually fun to do! I personally recommend the app “Fastic” — it’s a free app that tracks your fasting windows and actually reminds you to DRINK WATER! If you read/listened to Atomic Habits by James Clear, you’d know that even if you start something and stick with it, whatever “it” is automatically becomes a part of your routine. Don’t get me wrong, I never took a psychology class in my life (and honestly wish that I have!) but I don’t need a psychology degree to know that when you switch a phrase, something you’re trying to achieve will actually become a fun process!

Another trick or “life hack” is choosing quality over quantity. Yes, this concept applies to your lifestyle. For example, another one of my goals is to read 52+ books this year. How do I make that sound less intimidating? I choose good books that I actually want to read, including the books I’m reading in my climate literature class this semester (yes, “cli-fi” is a real multigenre, and yes, I recommend it!). I’m not even going to stress out if I don’t make it past 52 books, as long as I’m having fun reading!

Let’s track back to health for a sec; if you’re struggling with a workout schedule, sit down with your agenda/planner/whatever and schedule when your workouts would take place. But only workout if you feel like it. You can’t force your body to do something. Listen to your body. If you work in the morning/afternoon, it’s more likely that you’ll be working out at night. I have yet to get my schedule in complete order, myself.

In summation, the key to achieving your goals is to have fun doing it, even if you have to change a phrase to wire your brain into wanting to do it.

Like always, I wish you folx godspeed in achieving your goals for 2022! Make this year better than the last two years! Commit to the “new you.”

xoxo,

April

The Year Of The Rat, The Year Of 4, The Year Of ACTION | New Age Morning Rituals and Reads

Happy New Year, everybody! Here we are in the… new roaring twenties? This year came in like a lion for sure, especially with Gronk being a co-host with Steve Harvey on FOX’s NYE special — boy, is that guy a party animal!

I’ve preached on Instagram to not be “all-talk” about yours/mine/our goals for 2020. I can’t stand when people are “all-talk” and no do or action. My Enneagram type is 4, which is coincidentally my number for this year as well as 2020 in numerology. According to a little something I also shared on Instagram, Enneagram 4’s are the artist who will not only bring the action to the new year but to actually act. Here’s the key to resolutions: your “new year” will be the same as the last if you don’t change your habits. As I’ve also preached in Conquering Anxiety And Achieving Well-Being, Overall, you can bitch and moan or you can freakin DO SOMETHING!!! Change and manifestation don’t work unless you do. The (in)famous New Years Resolutions similarly don’t work unless you do.

With that being said, I took some inspiration from The Gem Goddess on YouTube and created my own little morning routine. Even though I have been doing this said routine for two mornings thus far, I remind you that it does not take much time to develop a habitual routine. Moreover, I light a vanilla-scented candle (you can use any scented candle — that just happens to be my favorite scent). I also light vanilla incense and use it until it comes to a stub. I then take my red, polka-dotted journal and jot down my intentions for the day and to what and whom I am grateful. The trick is to say your intentions in the present tense; that way, you can write your intentions as if you already have them, which is KEY in manifestation.  I then meditate on my intentions with the sounds of Inspirabel, high-vibrational music that will also increase your vibrations. Classical music has a way of “doing that.” I recommend listening to it with headphones, or you could also listen to a guided meditation. If you don’t have heat in your room, wrap yourself in a soft, weighted blanket. Comfort is also key. Like I said, I did this for two days and it WORKS!

It also helps if you have some tea to calm your anxious nerves (especially if you haven’t taken your meds yet), or some coffee to wake you up. I know, those two do sound contradictory. I personally have one cup of coffee, then make myself a cup of green tea. In 2019, and in the years before that, I went a little crazy on my coffee intake, but not this year! It’s just not good for you! Speaking of which, I’m not going to drink alcohol unless it’s on a holiday, special occasion, or when I go out to a restaurant to eat. This will do wonders for your body, as well as your mental health.

Another thing: READ MORE! Take a couple of hours to stay off of your phone to read. This January, I am reading Becoming by Michelle Obama, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k by Mark Manson, and Z: A Novel of Zelda Fitzgerald by Therese Anne Fowler. This won’t be easy considering I’m taking a course in British Literature this semester, but I always find a way. 😉

 

 

 

 

A Day In The Life Of A Blogger

7:00-8:00 AM: Wake up (and hit the snooze button a million times)

8:45-9:00 AM: Arrive at school (I commute to school)

9:05 AM: Grab a White Mocha Iced Latte at Starbucks (yes, I’m addicted), and catch up on some reading

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***But first, let me take a selfie***

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10:00-10:50 AM: Class

11:00AM-12:30PM: Lunchtime! I usually get a cheese quesadilla on the grill or a salad.

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1:00-4:00: Tutoring — I’m a writing tutor! I usually make about 2-3 cups of coffee during my shift (I told you I’m addicted). They’re usually Nantucket Blend with half&half and two Splendas.

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5:00-7:50: Yes, three-hour classes exist. I just so happen to be taking two of them this semester — yikes! But I’m not complaining because I’m loving all of my classes.

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8:00 PM and after: Hawks’ Herald meeting. For those of you who don’t know, I write recipes, fashion, and fitness articles for my campus newspaper’s Arts & Culture section. Stay tuned for my article on palazzo pants!

I also use this time to do homework, eat, study, go home and pour myself a drink and say “a toast to myself, and this blessed life I was given.”

In between everything else: My trusty Pandora stations! I usually turn to my Top Hits station, Chainsmokers, Miley Cyrus, and when I really want some throwbacks, Jesse McCartney and/or NSYNC!

This is just a typical Monday schedule for me; if you’re wondering where I fit in my workouts, I work out five-four times a week. ☺

Have a great week, A(pril)-listers!

 

 

 

My Own ‘Silver Lining’s Playbook’

“All your dreams can come true if you have the courage to pursue them.” – Walt Disney

So it’s been, what? A month since I posted? Well, sorr-ay for living my best life! I just started at my new school, and it’s been treating me wonderfully thus far. I’m going to start off by announcing that I am the new Features Editor for my school newspaper! My dream of being an editor is slowly coming true. Being an editor has taught me so much: 1) how to manage my time 2) how to be more creative 3) people skills 4) how to use InDesign (which I’ll probably use in the future) and 5) how to be relentless (in a good way). My section is already thriving with features like “club of the week,” “biweekly series: commuter issues,” and — coming soon — “Bristol businesses and RWU students.” Another thing: I’ve really gotten into American Literature and fashion. Fashion is something I’ve always been into, but there was a time when I considered fashion as a potential career.

I’m just going to keep this short and to-the-point. This is where I say I’ve found my “silver lining.” In my own version of Silver Lining’s Playbook, a girl dealing with mental illness discovers her dream/passion: editing. When I was in the hospital, one of my fellow inpatients told me I should become an editor, and that’s when I said, “he’s right.” I was a writing tutor at my previous college, and I reprised that role at my new school. I realized how much more knowledge and appreciation I’ve gained for the English language. I’ve come through the dark clouds into the bright light that silver linings represent, and while silver linings are not without their challenges, I drew strength from that silver lining to meet those challenges. I wish you all Godspeed in finding all of your silver linings — let me know when you do!

xoxo April