how do you define success – The April Diaries

EMPOWER NOT TOWER: The Tortoise Doesn’t Care About the Hare… Be Like The Tortoise

Published on March 20, 2023 by The April Diaries1 Comment

When I get tangled in a hurdle of anxiety, after tripping and ultimately tumbling around on the track, (metaphorically speaking — I’m a former three-season runner, remember?); moreover, it’s lonely being an entrepreneur. My dear boyfriend Mark reminded me that “success doesn’t come easily,” to which he is absolutely right. Since the new year began, I became a certified nutritionist and I am building my business from the ground up, not just getting discovered by a coaching program. I also became a radio talk show host to a show that has now become a network. Did I mention I’m basically the next “Selena & Chef” and Julia Child? Yeah, I can’t believe it, either but here I am. It took 26 years and only 3 years out of college (post-pandemic) but I’m finally at peace with where I choose to be in my career. I always knew, somehow, someway, I’d be in the entertainment industry and patch my relationship with food.

We all know the story of the Tortoise and the Hare. The Tortoise wins the race in the end. The Hare is just straight-up arrogant and clouded by its own stupidity. No, this story is not why I became a three-season runner. I bring up this story to remind all of you out there who may feel like you are ostensibly behind in life. You’re not. Some people “get there” quicker than others. But you needn’t compare yourself to them, especially the hares of the world. I’ve known plenty of hares. These “hares” are equivalent to Hailey Bieber and Kylie Jenner. If you haven’t read that post, click here. In the end, they will be always be fans and wannabes.

In retrospect, it took me since 7th grade to be able to be rewarded ” 2015 Catholic Conference All-Star” in my senior year of high school. I’m grateful to be where I am, and I need not rush through life, otherwise I just miss everything and the beauty of it all. And sometimes, the beauty comes from suffering. What do/did we learn? What can we take from those experiences? I’m a very firm believer that everything happens for a reason. In the moment you are kind of like, “WTF!?” However, we must abandon the desire for perfection and see through the eyes of forgiveness and of love. After all, Saint Maximilian Mary Kolbe once said, “love alone creates.” And with that said, I would like to share a prayer with all of you that has certainly helped me:

“St. Maximilian, amidst the hate and lonely misery of Auschwitz, you brought love into the lives of fellow captives, and sowed the seeds of hope amidst despair. You bore witness to the world, by word and deed, that only ‘Love alone creates.’

Help me to become more like yourself. With you and Mary and the Church, may I proclaim that only ‘Love alone creates.’ To the hungry and oppressed, the naked and homeless, the scorned and hated, the lonely and despairing, may I proclaim the power of Christ’s love, which endures forever and ever. Amen.”

I write this as I watch Julie & Julia, based on two true stories at once. Amy Adams’ character says in the beginning, “you’re not a writer unless you’re published” and that made me sad. For those of you who haven’t seen the movie, 1) it’s great 2) Amy Adams’ character is struggling as she sits in a cubicle catering to the emotional needs of those affected by the 9/11 attacks. She then gets the idea to start a blog about cooking almost everything in Julia Child’s cookbook. Slow and steady, as she approaches the age of 30, her blog is a huge success.

P.S. if you are looking for low-carb or diabetic-friendly recipes, check out my cookbook here.

IN THE MEDIA: https://www.valleybreeze.com/news/after-near-death-experience-federico-launches-cookbook-talk-shows/article_e5b27d94-aba6-11ed-8519-b7e454c72e2c.html

MORE LIKE THIS: Beware the Sides of March | I’ve Seen Both Sides Now, Confessions of a Diabetic: Healthcare Is A Human Right, EMPOWER NOT TOWER: “Go big or go home?” Is it really worth sucking on bone marrow?, Confessions Can Help | Women’s History Month

BLOG-MAS TUESDAY: We Should Have Listened To Sheryl Crow Years Ago…

Published on December 5, 2022 by The April Diaries1 Comment

Picture this: it is 2005, and Sheryl Crow just came on the radio. It’s her famous “Soak Up The Sun.” We all liked it because we were a) probably conditioned to like it by society or b) we actually found it catchy. I actually fell under group b.

A stanza that we weren’t cognizant of, as second graders was the following:

I don’t have digital
I don’t have diddly squat
It’s not having what you want
It’s wanting what you’ve got.

You’re probably thinking, what do the last two lines mean? So I’m challenging you to think again: when was the last time you were truly grateful for something that you had, that you have always wanted?

For example, I dreamt of a closet full of stunning clothes, living in the city, and the man I have. I have all of the above now, as a 26-year-old. Golly, am I grateful, thankful, and blessed. 💖

I am already abundant 100%, and it doesn’t matter how much I have in my bank account (which, to Sheryl Crow’s lyrics is “diddly squat”). What I don’t want is to constantly be chasing the bone every day by focusing on “want, want, want.” No one ever got by in life that way.

It’s the same thing with success. If you feel successful, you are going to be successful.

That isn’t to say that you should take everything you have for granted. I make sure that I tell my boyfriend that he’s appreciated and that I’m grateful for him. Once upon a time, I craved a man like him. Now, I have him and I’m so lucky and, once again, grateful, thankful, blessed — no need for hashtags.

If you’re writing in your manifestation journal, “manically manifesting,” you’re literally chasing the bone like a dog would. No, I am NOT calling you a bitch, relax. 😂

For example, I manifested living in the city. Though I may not geographically be exactly where I wish to be right now, right now I am grateful that I live near so many stores, restaurants, and especially that grocery store with a Starbucks in it. I remember how much I wanted to be an author. Now, I have three poetry books and one of them is being turned into a movie. I remember in the beginning of the year how much I wanted clients, now I have 4 and I get to launch my first Delicious Life Experience Group Coaching program in January 2023! I remember how much I wanted to speak to people about what I do; I get to speak to aspiring authors in 2023 and I’m speaking on wellness with a new friend this month — twice.

Abundance does not come from a plethora of Starbucks coffee. According to Billie Eilish: “I got everything I wanted,” and life is only going to get better.

So, I challenge you to write down, in your little “catalogue” of yours, what are you grateful for? It’s almost 2023, so you’ll be surprised at how much you’ve accomplished and happened for the greater good.

xoxo,

April 💕

MORE LIKE THIS: BLOG-MAS: What’s Your ‘Why?’ The Purpose Statement, BLOG-MAS: Reasons To Go To Graduate School, BLOG-MAS TUESDAY: You’re responsible for finding inspiration, 10 Dorothy Day Quotes For Business Owners and Entrepreneurs

The Truth About ‘Overnight Success’ | How To Be

Published on August 19, 2022 by The April DiariesLeave a comment

I opened up an email from renowned fitness trainer Jill Coleman today, and it was my personal dose of tough love. The quote I’m about to share with you should be, too.

“A life spent looking for shortcuts is a long road to nowhere.” –Naval

Picture this: you’re young and at the park, and you’re on the monkey bars. You jump down halfway through because your hands hurt. Then you just walk to to the other side of the obstacle.

I don’t blame your hands for hurting, but this is the thing about all areas of life, including your health and well-being (and even manifestation!): you have to build the calluses on your hands and on the trauma you’ve experienced. You can ruminate on what you could’ve done differently all you want, but you can’t change who you were yesterday.

View the whole Instagram post here.

There is another quote I’d like to share that Natalie Portman quoted in this video (a speech she gave to Harvard graduates); “To be or not to be is not the question; the vital question is how to be,” said by Abraham Joshua Heschel. This will certainly question your thoughts and what you’ve learned about Shakespeare’s Hamlet, which is why I LOVE to question things that mildly brought me to tears (and not in a good way) (LOL). I love questioning the world around me in general, which is why I will forever be a lifelong learner.

I don’t just learn from books and podcasts, I learn from my past mistakes and I learn from the people around me — digitally or via in-person connections. That’s the beauty of the digital world, specifically social media and the ever-growing metaverse.

Let us think about how to be, shall we?

We’re taught from a young age about how to live our lives, mainly from our parents and the environment we grow up in. Let’s take Liz Murray for example. I’m continuously fascinated by her story. She is the brave young woman in the famous not-so-overnight-success-story “Homeless To Harvard.”

As a young girl, Murray lives with her sister Lisa, their drug-addicted, schizophrenic mother Jean, who has AIDS and their father Peter, also a drug addict but also has AIDS, lacks social skills, and is not conscientious. She is removed from the home and put into the care system as her father cannot take care of her.

At 15 she moves in with her mother, sister and grandfather who sexually abused her mother and her aunt. After a fight with her grandfather who resultantly hit Liz, she runs away with a girl from school named Chris who is also being abused at home.

After Jean dies of AIDS, Liz gets a ‘slap in the face’ by her mother’s death and begins her work to finish high school, which she amazingly completed in just two years. She becomes a star student and earns a scholarship to Harvard University through an essay contest sponsored by The New York Times.

In a nutshell, we can succumb to our environments as real-life victims of naturalism, or we can live our best lives. But we must put in the work to do so. It’s about building the calluses around who we used to be and the trauma we experienced and making things better for ourselves.

This, my friends, is strength and courage. I said this before and I’ll say it again, Elle Woods was right when she said, “passion is the key ingredient to the practice […] of life.”

This is also why people call me the #QuoteQueen. 👑

xoxo,

April 💕

How To Activate Your Goddess Potential Part 2: Believing You Are Worthy

Published on July 28, 2022 by The April DiariesLeave a comment

When I was a junior in high school and going through bouts of depression, my mom had sent me a quote by someone whom I cannot remember now. But the quote itself said, “My favorite Disney character? Daisy Duck. Because she goes after what she wants and deserves.”

I was on a call two days ago with a woman who was trying to recruit me for a coaching program. As she was asking me questions, she asked me what it is I wanted to do with these degrees I planned on getting in the future (masters and eventually doctorate). I told her straight up, “to get credibility in what I do.” That is actually the first time I was stopped to think that maybe I was going for them for the wrong reason — to have myself go into debt that was not smart, to have control over basically no outcome and to just work for someone else for the rest of my life. I knew I did not want that. Some people pursue an advanced degree because they want accelerate in their career, which is the right reason. The “science” behind the fact that I wanted to pursue something “science-y” just to prove to my freshman-year-of-college self that she CAN “do” science — not a good reason. Also, I convinced myself that my writing career was going nowhere — not true. I wouldn’t be continuing this blog and this series if I still believed it [my writing career] was going nowhere.

Yesterday I made the mistake of putting my size-8-foot in my mouth by announcing I was, in fact, going to [insert ivy league school here] to rekindle my master’s degree. That can’t happen for another year, unfortunately because I then realized, “there’s no way I can afford it right now.” However, if I didn’t believe that I was worthy of a possible degree at [insert ivy league school here] or any of them for that matter, would I have gone for it? I talked to a good friend of mine (hi Katarina!) and she told me that setbacks are good for redirection. Slowly but surely, I am reprogramming my mind to thinking that I am in fact worthy of any degree, even if I choose to go back to Emerson to pursue an MFA instead of finishing the MA. Katarina then asked me, “what are you hoping to gain?” And I told her, I gained this particular mindset.

So, my point is, if you’ve always wanted to do something but never believed you were worthy of it (e.g., a law degree, a PhD, or any advanced degree, anything at all!) Another fact is, you don’t necessarily need one degree on top of another just to feel worthy or credible. This woman who I spoke to two days ago made me realize that, and it almost brought me to tears because it took me God knows how long to realize that I am in fact, credible as is, as a coach, as a writer, as anything at all. I am worthy, and so are you, my dear, regardless of how you identify.

If you missed the previous blog post, read it here. And keep a lookout for a brand new podcast episode every Tuesday and Thursday!

xoxo,

April 💕

The Crepe Of Life Is In Your Hands | Forgiveness

Published on November 17, 2021 by The April Diaries3 Comments

Alexa, play “Fighter” by Christina Aguilera and then “Unstoppable” by Kat Deluna.

Recovering from a rough Tuesday night and day. I was journaling while picking apart a Pumpkin Cream Cheese Muffin from Starbucks. I realize that I bite into the bread every day. I’m not talking about carbs, I talking about life.

Every day you and I are winning in this game of life, as the world was designed for all of us to win (and sometimes lose). I remember this one line from Emily In Paris: “I can’t share a crepe, I need the whole crepe.” Although Emily Cooper (Lily Collins) was referring to a relationship with Gabriel (Lucas Bravo), needing the whole crepe applies to every day life.

The crepe is in our hands every day. It may take us a while to get to the center of that creamy, strawberry or Nutella filling. It’s similar to eating a cream cheese muffin or even a cheese danish! Sometimes you are left with crumbs that you can only throw out or that you can wipe off from your clothing, and in some cases, crumbs that stay on the ground. All of the times, you have to bite into the bread/cake that is less exciting and not as tasty as that filling you’re striving for. It’s a matter of fact that you have to bite through the blandness to get what you want. The journey can be sweet and savory, if you think positively. Even if it is bland and a process, it comes with achieving what you want.

Something that I’ve always found strange, since I was in fourth grade, is that people will judge you for simply eating. I remember in tenth grade I got weird looks from an eighth grader while eating a pizza. (What???) Eating is something that not everyone has a healthy relationship with. However, we need food to survive and to get specific nutrients in our bodies. We build these sustainable diets to get the life we want — or even the “glow-up” that we want. It’s similar to that of life because people will judge you for simply doing you and what benefits your future.

In recent events, and after a therapy session today, my therapist and I came to the conclusion that I was probably made to “sit still look pretty.” Who would’ve known, based on my past, that I’d wind up successful? There were points where I could’ve kicked myself for “missing out.” But did I really? No.

It’s simple: I forgive myself. I forgive my past. I forgive the boys who would make fun of my lunches in fifth grade. I forgive those who questioned my adoration for Miley Cyrus. I forgive those who questioned my love for theatre. I forgive those who made fun of my perm in sixth grade (I’ll even admit that wasn’t my best look). I forgive those who made fun of my learning disability out of sheer ignorance. I forgive those who treated/treat me differently because I was/am different. In fact, thank you for doing those things because I wouldn’t have had the courage and the thickest of skins to go on and do what I do. Thank you, universe, for giving me the spirit guides who told me to go on. I continue to tell my story for the rest of my life. I may not be immortal, but every story is.

If you don’t forgive, how do you expect to move on and do what you do now? What you’re passionate about? Never forget the good things that came out of those bad experiences. They may seem bad then, and I’m there’s a middle schooler somewhere reading this. Truth is, reader, whomever you may be: those who mind don’t matter, those who matter don’t mind. You’re not here to just sit still, look pretty, and have your lips zipped. Live your truth, and don’t let society change that.

The crepe, danish, cupcake, and/or muffin is in your hands.

xoxoxo,

April

Habits To Let Go Of By 2022

Published on November 14, 2021 by The April DiariesLeave a comment

As we all know, 2021 is reaching its end. It’s no secret that 2020 has led some of us, if not all of us, into bad habits like binge drinking or eating or even being a total couch potato while watching Netflix. In May 2020, two months into the pandemic, I started to realize my self-worth, for the second time. (If you know, you know!) With that being said, some of the things that happened in 2020 led me to negative self-talk, which is one thing to let go of by 2022.

With negative self-talk, you’re literally demeaning your self-worth. Some of this negative self-talk may come from outside sources that say you’re not good enough. If you read The Truth About Self-Esteem, you would know that the truth of the matter is that your self-esteem affects every aspect of your life. As a result of negative self-talk, you’re going to go into a rabbit hole of self-sabotage — the cardinal sin of wellbeing.

Another habit to let go of is to not rush through life like it’s some sort of race. Newsflash: life is not a race. Your only competition is you. After watching a video by Nika Nikita, she mentioned this morbid yet true affirmation: “I am speeding to my death.” Believe me, that can easily apply to driving and living life in the fast-lane. Life is too short to self-medicate with alcohol or getting baked just because you had a rough day. There are alternatives, like realizing that you have this plethora of self-love. This is the only life you will ever have, maybe, unless reincarnation is real — depending on what you believe.

Another thing Nika mentions is how you define your success. To me, success is how much I’ve grown to love my curves, — including the extra fat in my tummy. And what’s icing on the cake is that my boyfriend loves my curves, too! I used to think it was just simply having the “best life,” but what is that exactly? It’s up to you! You are the author to your own story. There will be characters that you don’t like, but yet again, you have no control over their behavior. You just have to play it out and realize that you — the main character — are no tragic Shakespearean hero. Whenever I say this, I always think of Macbeth or Hamlet. Put simply, if you keep focusing on what you think is going to make you successful, it will ultimately lead you to your demise. Again, put simply, that is karma or fate. Let me give you a real-life example; if I were to keep job-searching when I already have everything I need to succeed, I’d go completely bonkers because I’d be feeding my brain with, say it with me… NEGATIVE SELF-TALK!

So, what I’m saying to you is to start letting go of these bad habits and create 1) positive self-talk 2) take the time to stroll through life like it’s a walk in the park (or LIVE IN THE MOMENT!) and 3) own your success, just as it is. Create it on your own terms.

In fact, try this as a journal entry: how do I (you) define success?

For me, it’s to enjoy the freedom I have do to everything I want. I let go of negativity and self-criticism and what people think of me. I am doing the best I can and I am blessed beyond measure.

**If you would like to see April Diaries journal entries, let me know in the comments!

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