karma – The April Diaries

I was never one to be so wrapped up in celebrity drama, despite reading plethoras of fan magazines. Now, I just love inspiring stories about celebrities and the work they do. The one celebrity I’ve always admired was Selena Gomez, aside from my fifth-grade obsession with Miley Cyrus. I still remember the day I received an autographed picture of Selena Gomez in the mail, in response to a piece of fan mail I sent her. I also remember bringing it to school the next day because I wanted to show my friends. They consequently wanted to write to her, too!

Disclaimer: this is not a celebrity gossip story. This is why I am on the technical #TeamGomez versus Hailey Bieber and Kylie Jenner.

I remember when I was in middle school, majority of my female classmates looked down on me because I was somewhat shy and I didn’t wear Abercrombie & Fitch, amongst other things I will never comprehend because it was so childish. What’s even more childish is that Kylie Jenner took to TikTok to shade Selena Gomez for making a silly mistake with her makeup. Jenner and Hailey Bieber went on to make a video saying “I’m not saying she deserved it, but God works…” Gomez responded in return, “I’m too old for this.” And if you ask me, she had the appropriate response.

To be honest, this reminded me so much of my middle school and some of my high school experience. These were the ugliest times to be on social media. Everywhere I looked on social media, boys were mocking me and so were people who were older than I. It wasn’t just on social media. I remember specifically on my first day of high school, I sat down in English class. And let’s just say, my entire course schedule changed and I needed to be put in private school ASAP. I’m not even going to talk about volleyball. Needless to say, I was in hell and I was lucky enough to get out. One of my best friends told me, “you were strong enough to get out.” And honestly I agree because it takes a crap ton of strength to leave a situation that it does to stay in a situation where you are clearly suffering and your mental sanity is being compromised.

What I admire even more, is that Selena Gomez still pursued social media, despite saying she wanted to quit. The poor woman goes through enough as it is, with lupus and the consequent criticism of her weight gain due to her autoimmune disease. The fact that she had to go live on TikTok just to address her weight gain is something no one should have to do. It made me really sad, and I know I’m not the only one.

In short, I’m not saying they deserved it but as Selena’s BFF Taylor Swift sang, “Karma is a god.” I’m not the only person to say this, but Selena is a multi-talented icon, while Bieber and Jenner only have to offer the way they look and their famous families.

And can I just say, I love the fact that anti-bullying is resurfacing, or at least being taken seriously. 🧡

Karma really is a god.

xoxo,

April 💕

Last week, I got off the phone with my therapist. I was feeling a sense of hope yet another sense of hopelessness. That’s when I realized my imposter syndrome was so bad that my anxious self would not let me pull myself out of it. I was constantly focused on the future — what it could hold. Did I mention I’m impatient AF?

I couldn’t help but compare myself to people who rent their own apartments because I still live at home. I couldn’t help but compare myself to people who had full-time jobs. But then I realized, I’m furthering my education by going to grad school for my career: publishing and writing. I’d be lying if I said that I was never judged. You can’t really stop the world from judging, but in reality, you’re your own worst critic.

I then saw a post from some media outlet (I’m sorry I don’t remember who posted it!) But it was a series of TikToks from a very successful woman (her name also escapes me — ah!!). No, her success was not a story that happened overnight. Her success came from within and many, many bouts of comparing herself. However, comparing herself was getting her nowhere. This same woman worked at Trader Joe’s for quite some time, until she proved herself to be a successful realtor. I’m definitely no expert in real-estate, but this woman seems to be pretty prominent in the industry.

One thing this woman asked herself was, “why isn’t everyone else’s success happening to me?” Instead she switched her mindset to “in time, everything will be yours.” She then got to work. And that’s the thing about applying yourself to whatever it is you set your mind to. Think of it as a job; you can’t just submit your resume without your cover letter! In real life, you can’t just go on and on about the things you’ve done; you need to prove yourself that you can do the job. Don’t get me wrong, it is perfectly fine to be absolutely confident. But you need to have a plan in order to execute the results you want. This means putting in the time and energy to do so.

In time, something — no matter what it is — will be attained. You just have to get off your behind and achieve it. That means writing your cover letter — not recycling the ones you’ve already written because trust me, belaboring your point to a billion employers will only have you killing your own brain cells. If something’s clearly not working in your favor, you have to change it. No one else is going to do that for you. How you think of yourself and how you put yourself on paper matters. Think about it: the energy you put out is the same energy you will get back. It’s karma and manifestation! If you think that life is absolutely exhausting you, you will feel that lethargy and negativity. Don’t burn yourself out before you try to better yourself and especially don’t burn yourself out when you’re going after your dreams!

Be patient with yourself. If you’re not seeing results right away, don’t beat yourself up about it. Don’t be mad at the universe, either. In time, it’ll be yours.

xoxo,

April