EMPOWER NOT TOWER: “Go big or go home?” Is it really worth sucking on bone marrow?

It was a Tuesday morning and I woke up an hour later than intended. I wanted to get up early, put on some makeup, and put on a cute dress to take over the createHER Collective Instagram story for the day. That didn’t happen exactly as planned, but I handled it better than what my expectations were the previous day.

I ended the night signing off to watch “Grey’s Anatomy,” but also signed off with a whole lot of new perspectives on empowerment and the phrase, “go big or go home.”

The first time I ever heard that phrase was on my very first day of high school when one of my teachers talked about the time she broke her vegetarianism to eat a huge burger — bone marrow and all.

But should we really go by this phrase? The answer is no, and I’ll tell you why.

I remember going by this phrase when applying to undergraduate schools — didn’t work out! I followed this phrase when I started submitting my poetry and artwork to the top literary magazines in the country — didn’t work out! That’s when I started looking at smaller publications that I never even heard of until I joined Twitter again. Those definitely worked out (and helped me build a killer CV to use for grad school apps if I do say so myself.)

When looking at graduate schools too, for my MFA, I had that same superficial outlook that I had when I was a junior/senior in high school. I wanted to apply to (and googled) “Best MFA schools in the U.S.” But coming from a “small-but-bigger-than-SAC” school like RWU, who knows if I even stand a chance? What I learned, especially from being in the [insert 2 Ivy League schools here] applicant Facebook groups, just because they are ostensibly the “best,” “top-tier,” and “among the elite,” that doesn’t mean they’re the right fit for you.

My point in bringing up undergraduate and graduate institutions is that it’s not worth gnawing on your thumb right to the bone marrow to prove yourself — to anyone or anything. I was reminded of a poem I wrote:

Perfection is a weakness of mine

To be honest, when I was in high school, I strived for perfection and I’ll be honest it gave me a little OCD!

I’m trying to gnaw on this idea of being perfect;

I chew it down right to that savory bone marrow

until there’s nothing left to even suck on anymore—

at this point all I’m doing is sucking on that

circular piece of bone. The bone is in my right thumb

and I’ve sucked on it so much to feel like I’ve lost

all feeling.

 

Perfection is like sucking on a piece of bone marrow—

you cleanse it of all the meat and the cells that go with it,

until there’s nothing anymore. It becomes addictive,

like a fidget toy. People tell you you’re doing great by

cleaning it and getting all the necessary juice to make you

feel manly, accomplished, whatever. Then you become

addicted to being perfect and receiving that praise.

Even when you feel like you’re unappreciated, just know that you’re doing a great job and people really do appreciate what you do and how hard you work. If they don’t, it’s their loss!

Moral of the story: PERFECTION IS UNATTAINABLE!

 

For the Girl About to Turn 22 | Welcome to My Jordan Year (23)

I almost made this post today (Monday, May 20th), but by the time this post goes live, I’ll be less than 24 hours from my “Jordan Year” a.k.a my 23rd year of living, breathing, and thriving.

This may, unfortunately, be my last year residing in beautiful Rhode Island as I do plan on (hopefully) moving back to Massachusetts for law school, and I am finishing my last year at RWU.

I made a post similar to this last year, but I thought I’d do it again because… duh, it’s my life and I think I’m rather good at giving advice if I do say so myself. I was looking back on For The Girl About To Turn 21 | Moving Onto 22, and I just say, “damn how I’ve grown.”

So here’s to the girl about to turn 22 years old, this is for you:

  1. No matter if you’re graduating on time, or later than you expected, either is okay.
  2. Going along with that, don’t stress if you’re not graduating on time. Life happens/happened!
  3. Do NOT compare yourself. I’m not going to write that overly quoted phrase by whomever because EVERYONE knows what I’m talking about.
  4. There are people who are going to try to bring you down. Don’t listen to them.
  5. Also going along with that, there will be people who try to punish you for their personal B.S. Just know that you did nothing wrong.
  6. Do NOT be afraid to stand up for yourself and speak your mind when needed. If you feel that something is unjust, do something about it.
  7. It’s okay not to have a “cool job” over the summer, especially if you just graduated. I mean, hey, my mom waitressed for a year prior to getting her Master’s (and she really is the boss).
  8. You will find out what you want to do with your life. TRUST ME.
  9. Take your mom’s advice about self-defense and being safe. In fact, just listen to your mom. Period.
  10. If you’re going to argue something, be 110% prepared and know your facts.
  11. With that being said, don’t just be “opinionated.” You can’t call it an opinion if it’s not backed up with confidence and FACT. Don’t mistake confidence for arrogance and ignorance.
  12. Don’t be afraid to dip your toes into something new.
  13. Don’t give into peer pressure nor should you be easily swayed.
  14. If you know, you know. No one’s going to know what’s better for you than you.
  15. It’s not easy being positive all the time. You have to give yourself a break and shed a tear or a couple hundred.
  16. All families are dysfunctional. Yours is not the model of all things dysfunctional.
  17. You WILL realize that you have way too much respect for yourself to be treated as less than you are.
  18. Listen to your heart, except if you’ve been drinking. Your drunk self has no common sense.
  19. A thesis isn’t that bad, and I’m saying that as someone who already wrote theirs.
  20. Indulge in your creative side more.
  21. Please do yourself a favor and watch Grey’s Anatomy.
  22. Don’t be afraid to go back to your roots, even if you haven’t particularly missed them. Confront them.

Now, I officially welcome you all into my 23rd year! 🥂

xoxo,

April 😘💕

 

 

Unstoppable | How I’ve Been After a Month’s Hiatus

Long time no post! Yes, I did take an unintentional hiatus from the blog, but don’t worry, your girl is BACK! 😉 I have spent well over a month working on myself and just being the best version of myself I can be. This includes realizing what I really want to do with my life. But in the past month and a half, I’ve realized there’s only one version of myself (despite being a Gemini.) That version of April is someone who knows her worth and her potential. I remember when I wanted to be a lawyer, thinking I’d fail the LSAT, so I gave up on that dream. Then I remembered the famous line from “A Cinderella Story.”

“Don’t let the fear of striking out stop you from playing the game.”

Hilary Duff’s character, Sam, sees these immortal words after Fiona’s wall rips apart in her (or what was Sam’s dad’s) diner. But what Sam finally made clear to Fiona was that she had way too much respect for herself to be treated like, well, Cinderella! Sam always knew she was smart — smart enough to see past Fiona’s B.S.

Now, I have not taken the LSAT or GRE, yet. But this fear of failure has always been a prevalent demon in my life. Everyone knows my strive for perfection is clear-to-see. More recently, this included writing a whopping eight drafts of my thesis (… that I turned in Monday, May 6 😊 ). No matter how many drafts I’ve written, I know they were all 100% worth the strenuous nights and afternoons, yet it is rewarding to be done with my BFA in Creative Writing in just two years. LET THAT SINK IN. (Although I do have one more year to go.) What is amazing that I did not once shed a tear over my thesis, no matter how much I wanted to.

This quote also strikes a chord of truth in me when it comes down to my newly-minted career in RWU’s Student Senate. There was this almost-fictional character holding me back, but it was actually my “fear of striking out.” This was also true with dance auditions, which was why I’ve been falling in and out of love with dance since I was just a mere three-year-old.

Moral of the story: I know I said in FESTIVE FRIDAY NIGHTS: How To Make Your Dreams Come True | How I Realized Mine how I wanted to go into publishing. But if you know something just doesn’t sit right with you, don’t pursue it. Just like if someone doesn’t hear the value in your words, stop talking to them. My mom quotes my late grandfather all the time: “do the right thing.” And I’m about to do the right thing (for myself) in a matter of months: apply to law school so that I can be a voice for the underrepresented and those who may not be able to defend themselves. Don’t worry, I’m NEVER giving up my writing career for as long as I live. Nothing’s stopping me now.

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THE FASHION DIARIES: Black and Tan to the T in Boston

For those of you who don’t know, Boston was my backyard for 20 years prior to moving to Little Rhody. I remember how resentful I was to my parents for making my brother and I move to another state. My mom later told me, “you’ll be away from the bastards who hurt you in Massachusetts.” I was getting over a break-up at the time, so I agreed with her and never looked back — not even a glimpse of Massachusetts.

This past Friday I actually went back to Boston to visit a friend at MassArt (hi, Kira!). Everywhere we went, including Primark, I said out loud, “Oh, Boston. Oh, how I’ve missed you.” I didn’t realize that I really did miss Boston and was almost reluctant to come “home” to my small town in Rhode Island. The minute I saw the Vera Gas Tank with the “strokes” of paint on it, I said in a Snapchat story, “Boston, I’m home.” It’s true– Massachusetts is all I’ve really known, despite how well I’ve gotten to know Providence. I can’t wait to return to Boston for grad school in a year or two.

Anyway, Providence may be the “creative capital,” but Boston is home to the famous MFA, the ICA, and some of the more creative spirits (not to mention so many publishing houses — a dream!)

I had to make sure I looked my absolute best while staying comfortable at the same time because God knew we would be walking a lot. What I wasn’t really cognizant of when choosing my outfits is that I mostly packed the colors tan and black. So here we go with the outfits!

1.)  Cheetah Girl or NAH:

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No joke, I swear one of the Cheetah Girls wears this ADORABLE AND TRENDY teddy-bear coat in one of the movies! Here I have it paired with simple blue jeans, a black top, and a pair of black booties with a silver toe and a bit of a heel from H&M. I saw this jacket at Primark, and I knew it was something I had to have. Kira bought one, too!

2.)  Black Sneaks Back ALRIGHT!

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Good play on words, huh? 🤣 Here I am wearing black jeans, black sneakers, paired with a tan-sherpa vest (that actually does keep you warm in the fall) and a tan striped shirt. This picture was taken at the Prudential Center. Sneakers are actually making a huge comeback this year, and will hopefully continue because they really are comfortable! Whether they are Nike, Adidas, Yeezy’s, or even a pair from Wal-Mart, sneakers are truly fashionable.

One thing I need to learn to master is how to take the T if I’m going to be living in Boston in the near future. Growing up in a suburban town outside of Boston, I didn’t have access to public transportation. But it’s all a learning experience!

Boston, thank you for lending me a second chance to show you how much I cherish you. ❤

 

Burnt Out

I know, you’re thinking “it’s only week four (five now) of classes. How could you be burnt out?”

As I was typing the words, “burnt out” in the title, I looked at it and said, “has it really gotten to this point?”

As I sit in the atrium next to the Starbucks on campus, I am busy submitting poems to potential magazines and thinking about what to do next. Do I get lunch? No, not quite yet. Do I submit more poems for consideration? No, wait till you generate some more. Do I do work? Yes, April, you should OR you could write another blog post.

I wrote a blog post a while ago called Fitness, Fashion, and Time Management. Maybe this is just me, but I think that my time management is more up-to-par in the second semester. I’m sitting here yawning my like no other (mostly because I woke up at 6:30 to get ready for my 8 a.m. Management class.) I want to yawn some more just saying, “I have an 8 a.m. class Monday, Wednesday, Friday.” Yup, there I go again.

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Anyway, I’m not here to talk about how tired I am (constantly), I’m here to talk more about time management so your head can stay clear.

My morning routines (particularly Monday, Wednesday, Friday), I wake up at an ungodly hour, get dressed, get my usual venti-iced-white-mocha at the campus Starbucks and go to class. Since I commute to campus, I usually go home a half hour after my class. But today, I’ve decided to stay the entire day to catch up on work.

While I don’t have a set to-do list, I do have a consistent plan to get sh*t done. That means having a killer attitude even when you’re absolutely cranky. A constant theme I’ve noticed in the podcasts I listen to is the idea of “faking it till you make it.” To me, what that means, is faking it until it becomes reality. Last Thursday, I was so cranky and burnt out that I refused to take a joke or even smile. But then my mom, oddly enough, made me laugh about a Nacho Mama’s delivery car or something. (Nacho Mama’s is a Mexican place in Bristol). And I actually smiled!

But as I write this portion two weeks later, I have my sh*t together, and I even completed my first exam of the semester! (Pray for me, it was Management). Another thing: I started dancing again, and I completely forgot how much I loved it. Being a part of a team/club (or two, or three) really gives you balance, plus you discover what you’re truly passionate about. Don’t get me wrong, I love writing. But dance has been my first love since I was three years old. (Thanks KD for persuading me to come to dance last Wednesday.)

That goes back to my theory about balance. Balance is a necessity of life, and even if you think you’re so busy, you actually can make time for your friends and the things you love. My friends and my mom keep telling me, “you need a hobby outside of writing.” I think I found it ☻

 

Empower Not Tower

“A bully tries to tower, but really has no power.” –  Aly & AJ

Have you ever been told you’re “too much?” “Overly emotional?” Or even worse, “not good enough?” For me: yes, yes, and yes.

Bullying has, unfortunately, become an unnecessary epidemic plaguing our society. But is society the bully? I know, I’m getting a little too deep and poetic here, but this is the thing: IT’S WHO I AM.

I saw a tweet posted by one of my fellow Instagramming Fashionistas. It read:

When someone you trust tells you ‘who you are,’ you tend to believe what they say. It’s important to understand you know yourself better than anyone else does, and what someone else says about you doesn’t define who you are — no matter how important that person is to your life. – @OfficialBrit.

Simply “brushing it off,” is something that I don’t think anyone can do easily — especially not me! Having spent the majority of my school years being bullied by adults, people my age, and even people younger than me, I eventually learned to “brush off the hate” and live my own life without worrying about what people thought of me, even though there was a point in my life I tried so hard to be ‘perfect.’ In fact, whenever I have one of my “episodes,” I repeat to myself, “I try so hard to be the perfect daughter, friend, girlfriend [that is, when I am in a relationship] and no one appreciates my efforts!” But in reality, that’s my anxiety kicking into full swing.

But what you have to realize that, and yes, this is another quote from HelloKaty:

“Nothing hurts unless you let it!”

I’m literally pulling quotes out of my butt, and I’m not apologizing for it!

That’s another problem: we always have to feel like we’re “sorry” for who we are when really, you just have to OWN. IT. We even apologize for the little things that we do that people might think are annoying, even when they’re not considered “annoying.” This reminds me of an old, but still relevant Selena Gomez song.

On that note, and this goes for guys, too: if you choose to make fun of someone for not doing/having something, take a step back because you’re no better than them. Empower, not tower. 

Did I ever welcome you all to my new series, by the way?

If I don’t do/have something it’s either that I choose not to, or simply because I don’t have control over it!

Moral of the story, when someone tries to tear you down, or if they’re just jealous, know this: don’t let that person’s harsh/passive-aggressive words or actions affect you. I know that’s easier said than done, but in the end, the haters lose and you’re the winner in your own life. But we’re not children, anymore. No one is keeping “tallies.” I once did an art project titled “Life is a game, but in order to play it, you need to find yourself first.” It’s basically about staying true to yourself throughout this “game” we call life. And I use that term very loosely, and so should you, even if you are a competitive person.

 

An Abridged Guide On What To Do If You Just Simply Don’t Know What To Do

Two years ago, I left a well-known online publication and started this blog. I wanted to be a social worker or an educator. Before that, I aspired to be a doctor. When I was in high school, I thought I was going to be an Ivy League student with hopes of becoming a lawyer with a chemistry background. In middle school, I thought I was going to be a fashion designer.

My point?

My point is we all had a “plan,” but these “plans” change and people change. After watching a HelloKaty video about screwing up, it had me thinking of something a little more off-topic, but still relevant: who were you before the universe broke your heart? In other words, who were you before society changed you? Who was I before I was bullied for being different? Who was I before I actually started to conform to who people wanted me to be? Who was I when I simply did not give a sh*t?

That person was an elementary schooler who lived in her own little world of pink, Miley Cyrus, Limited Too, and writing make-believe news articles about celebrities. My ultimate goal was to become… guess what… an author. My fifth-grade teacher even wrote in my yearbook, “maybe I’ll be reading a book written by you in the future.” I can’t believe I forgot all about that until I wrote to her in December 2016, thanking her for having such a positive impact on me. That dream stuck with me in middle school, and that’s when I was introduced to my passion for literature. At the time, instead of letting petty middle school bullies get to me, I geared my attention towards devouring novel after novel. Then came seventh grade, and that free spirit within me died. But that’s a whole other story.

Moreover, I recently rekindled that aficionado and began reading the works of Jane Austen, Toni Morrison, Ernest Hemingway, Margaret Atwood, and Shakespeare. I’ve even begun to use reading as a coping mechanism for my mental illness(es) — to escape reality. Nowadays, people immediately rely on social media as an “alternate universe,” and a virtual world, at that. I remember, before learning how to read, I played with educational computer programs. I guess that’s how this generation was brought up, computer games before a real education. I found myself in a Dunkin Donuts this afternoon, contemplating the sociology of these Generations Y and Z. Anyway, I’m getting pretty off-topic!

When we get older, we stop playing with Barbie dolls, sleeping with a nightlight, etc. Our childish dreams of making the biggest, cheesiest pizza in the world or being a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle come to a halt. Especially in high school, we start to think more about our futures in depth. We think we want whatever will make us a millionaire by the time we’re thirty. In my case, I didn’t realize what I actually wanted to do with my life until my second year of college! And it’s all because I set unrealistic expectations for myself back in high school. It’s almost scary that I’m coming to this conclusion as I write this. But, as my literary icon, Jane Austen once said:

“We all have a better guide in ourselves… than any other person can be.”

Elle Woods didn’t know she wanted to be a partner in a law firm until she actually went to Harvard Law, and J.K. Rowling didn’t publish her first book until she was 31!  J.K. Rowling was rejected by, not one, but 12 different publishers until someone would publish the beloved series, Harry Potter. In kindergarten, I was a strong believer in the character of Harry Potter, and after learning more about J.K. Rowling’s life (her clinical depression, abusive marriage, etc.) it occurred to me, as a future author, that I have to believe in not only my characters but in myself. Now, returning as an avid reader, I want to learn more about these characters I encounter and what their roles are in their respective societies. I want to be able to relate to these characters in one way or another. That’s just the thing about literature: fiction gives us a second chance that life denies us.

I wrote a blog post called Personas last semester, and I automatically thought about characters I had to play on stage, my fictional pieces, and my poetry. Art has a way of letting you escape your reality and become somebody else.

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What you don’t know is that I wrote all this a year ago! But it still rings true today. I submitted my short stories to literary magazines and, alas, they were declined. But I’m going to keep doing what J.K. Rowling did and keep trying. As P!nk said, “you gotta get up and try, try, try.”

I’m currently reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, and I have yet to add some commentary on that. Also, I highly recommend listening to the podcast, “Coffee Talk,” by Kalyn Nicholson.  She literally gets inside your head and is totally relatable! She and “Great Women in Business” are also on Spotify.

Like everyone else getting ready to graduate (for me it’s December 2019), I am actually still piecing together life after college. All I know is that I plan on venturing out of New England. I’m that type of girl that always has to have a steady, ready plan to go and conquer. As you saw in my last post, I discussed, briefly, what I’m doing after my internship (besides going back to school).

You know what? I’m going to give you some tips:

1.)  For some people, this isn’t always possible, but listen to me when I say HAVE A PLAN A, B, C, etc. This I learned from my mom. It’s pretty simple, have backups.

2.)  Take action immediately. If you’re looking for that summer job, start looking early.

3.)  Develop mentorships. These mentors could be the ones writing your recommendations. Plus, you will learn a lot from them.

4.)  Journal, journal, journal, but don’t complain too much while writing. I’ve learned that when you’re purging your negative thoughts, especially those from your past, all you’re doing is reliving them.

5.)  Give yourself a pep-talk. AFFIRMATIONS, PEOPLE!

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6.)  Listen to those podcasts I mentioned.

That is all. Go forth and prosper.

 

 

My Dear, You Can Do Anything You Set Your Mind To

On Wednesday, after I got out of my internship, I looked out onto Thayer Street in Providence and how I somewhat wished I got accepted to Brown my senior year. But then I thought, how lucky am I to be in a city with so much culture, so much style. Providence and Rhode Island for that matter are not necessarily known for fashion. But that’s what I’m trying to bring to light in my new fashion blog RIM.

I can’t exactly show the pictures on my personal blog, but I’ll let you know when the blog, itself, is done. Speaking of which, check out my very first blog post at RIM here.

Going into Providence and randomly asking strangers if I could take their picture for a magazine is something that is way beyond my comfort zone. That’s right, I’m here to talk about the ~comfort zone.~

Around this time, last year, I shared a post called Never Settle | Getting Out Of Your Own Way And Upsetting The Balance. So, what is it that you’re trying to get out of? A bad relationship? A toxic friendship? What I’m trying to say here is that getting out of your comfort zone is something that can extend far beyond what I was doing on Wednesday afternoon. The truth is, anything can be a courageous act, that includes getting out of bed and facing that embarrassing moment that happened yesterday. I’ve been faced with many mundane things that people would say is “courageous.” For example, I went rock-climbing with my Girl Scout troop in fifth grade when I knew I sucked at it (and believe me, I do.) In sixth grade, I really branched out of my shell, especially in science class when I presented about the Chilean Earthquake. My teacher even wrote on my rubric, “you should be a teacher!” But sadly that is not going to happen any time soon, or at all in my case. But I remember distinctly that same teacher wrote on my progress report, “I think April has become a confident young woman.”

That isn’t to say that there will be people who will try to knock you down in the future and flat-out bully you for the sake of their own insecurities. If you want more confidence, click here to see my previous blog post.

Taking that extra step or going that extra mile, is something, indeed you can do. My dear, you can do anything you set your mind to! I’ve thought about go over my overload next semester and taking seven classes instead of six. But at the same time, you want to think about what’s realistic. Will I be able to take those seven classes? The world may never know…

The same thing goes with applying to graduate schools. I’m in that stage of my college career where I’m thinking about applying to grad school. I attended a webinar early this afternoon for a prospective grad school for publishing when I realized I didn’t quite think it was up-to-par with my standards. Getting out of your comfort zone is also about knowing what you want, and there are some things that can be daunting but you know you have to do them. And there are some things that just become a part of you — things that come naturally to you that they didn’t before. I used to be afraid to ask questions, but especially this day in age, questions are critical. They show that you take interest in a job, school or position. Getting out of your comfort zone means asking a relatively stupid question if need be.

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But no matter where I go to grad school, I know that it won’t be in Rhode Island, no matter how much I’ve come to love this state. If you don’t know why, check out this blog post. I’m currently listening to “L.A. Story” by Sammy Adams featuring Mike Posner as I write this, and I can’t help but think, “could I end up in California?” No matter where I go, I’m determined, and I’m sure as hell ready to get out of my comfort zone some more, because my dear, you can do anything you set your mind to. 

 

 

 

 

What’s Wrong With Being Confident? Absolutely Nothing

Someone once told me that “happiness doesn’t get you anywhere.” Well, they were so wrong. I recently shared a video on Facebook that talked about the idea of cheating and hurting other people based on your own insecurities. All I could say is, they nailed it right on the head.

In today’s society, there are so many outside factors that deteriorate our confidence. Confidence is such a broad term, and it took me a while to grasp it. I first heard the term and tried to apply it to myself in seventh grade. I’ve read plenty of Seventeen magazines prior to that year, but I was too young to fully understand it.

In seventh grade, I tried to “up” my confidence by dressing, well, not like a seventh grader, let’s put it that way. I did this because I was actually trying to hide my own insecurities, especially since I was being bullied. In reality, I was only hurting myself.

The year before, sixth grade, a.k.a one of the worst years of my life, I look back at it now and say I was completely confident, despite the people trying to bring me down and talking about me behind my back and, worse, to my face (like, b*tch, I can hear you *eye roll*).

I really had fashion to lie back on during the tumultuous years of middle school and the first half of my freshman year. When I transferred high schools, I loved the idea of being able to speak my mind and share my stories. I didn’t let anyone bring me down until I was starting to rely on what people of authority thought of me. So then, I was basing my confidence on my smarts and the fact that I was trying to be a redheaded Barbie doll.

It’s easy to say that now I look nothing like the Barbie doll I tried to be. But I read an essay in my Literary Philosophy class this past semester by Jane Hamill that was appropriately titled, “A Grown-Up Barbie.” Needless to say, I related to that story on all levels. I wanted to be in the fashion world and go to meetings in Paris and New York. Now, I’m going to meetings in Providence and I’m never going to stop chasing my dreams, even when I’m in New York one day.

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My point in that last paragraph? I feel confident when I’m pursuing my own dreams, and not what people want me to be/do. If anyone is trying to tear you down, that only means they’re being insecure, and newsflash, you don’t have to worry about them whatsoever. There will obviously be people who just want the best for you, so do take their advice because who knows? It could be valuable one day.

I got the inspiration to write this blog post yesterday when I ran/walked over a mile at personal training for the first time in 2+ years, and I can honestly say I felt 10x more confident.

What is confidence? Confidence is:

1.)  Believing in yourself.

2.)  Not listening to others when they try to put you down.

3.)  Staying away from the toxicity of others.

4.)  KNOWING YOUR WORTH.

5.)  Knowing what makes YOU happy.

One last piece of advice, if you’re not pissing people off with your confidence, you’re not doing it right. But really, there’s no “right way” to be confident. Do your own thang!

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To pump yourself up, even if it’s just on your way to your internship, listen to these tunes:

  • “One Girl Revolution,” SuperChick
  • “Confident,” Demi Lovato
  • Any Destiny’s Child song
  • “Girl On Fire,” Alicia Keys
  • “All Of The Lights,” Kanye West
  • “Sorry Not Sorry,” Demi Lovato
  • “Miss Independent,” Kelly Clarkson
  • “Comin’ Up,” Sammy Adams

 

For The Girl About To Turn 21 | Moving Onto 22

Boston. There’s just something about it that makes you feel connected to everyone and everything in it, no matter where you’re from. For those of you who don’t know, I used to live in Massachusetts and went to high school in Newton. So really, Boston was all I ever really known, besides my own small town.

As a part of my birthday weekend, my dad took my cousins and me to Assembly. We first stopped at Cafe Nero, and it’s better coffee than anything I’ve ever had. Seriously, try their Cafe au lait (that’s “coffee with milk” in French).

There’s just something about the city in general that just makes me feel at home. By this time, I’ve lived in Rhode Island for two whole years.

Yes, I’ll be turning 22 tomorrow, May 28. PLEASE don’t play that annoying Taylor Swift song! My 21st year has been one for the books. I’m currently sitting in the Middletown Starbucks contemplating this past year. I’ve grown mentally, in muscle mass (I do love my upper body workouts), academically, and professionally. I said this once and I’ll say it one more time: I’ve lived this year with absolutely no regrets, and that was my ultimate goal in life.

So, for the girl about to turn 21, or turned 21 recently, here’s what you need to know:

1.) ALWAYS have your ID ready. Just because you’re 21, that doesn’t mean your server will necessarily trust you on that.

2.) Your parents (especially your mom) are always right.

3.) Stick up for yourself and your rights as a human being in this crazy, scary world of ours.

4.) It’s absolutely okay to be single.

5.) Don’t use your phone ALL THE TIME.

6.) Try something new.

7.) Find that one older “mentor” that you look up to.

8.) If you’re thinking about transferring colleges, weigh out the pros and cons and just do it.

9.) It’s always okay to say ‘no.’

10.) You don’t have to please everybody.

11.) Focus on YOU and only YOU — don’t worry about what other people think of you.

12.) Pray. God is good.

13.) Follow your dreams, if you know what you want to do with your life. Email that company you’ve been dying to intern at.

14.) Don’t be so hard on yourself. We all make mistakes.

15.) Don’t have high expectations. You’re being introduced to the real world.

16.) Workout — it releases endorphins!

17.) Write — it helps with any situation, especially poetry.

18.) Take a class on something you never thought you’d want to learn. I mean, hey, for my Arts Management minor, I’m taking business classes.

19.) Clean up your social media. Get rid of those toxic people from your friend list.

20.) Cry. It’s healthy. The feeling sucks, but it’s temporary.

21.) Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

22.) And finally, for one to grow on, if you want something to happen, you have to make it happen.

Being 21 definitely brought some realizations of who I really am. This is your chance to find out who you really are, too.

I already know that 22 will be a fantastic year. I’ll be doing what I love: writing and editing. Also, I’m pleased to announce that I’ve been selected as my Campus Entertainment Network’s Public Relations Chair! ☺

The next time you hear from me, I’ll be an intern/working girl. Be ready to hear all about my adventures in Providence!