10 Gender-Neutral Ways To Build A Better Dating Profile In 2022

I met my boyfriend on Bumble, and one of the things he told me right off the bat was that he loved the confidence I exuded in my pictures and my responses. He especially liked that I said in response to a prompt that read, “You should swipe right if you…” and I said something along the lines of “if you can find the right girl and stick to her.” We’ve been dating for almost six months.

I care about my followers. And if you are trying to find love, believe me when I say I was in your shoes. And if you’re on a dating app and you’re thinking about giving up, please DON’T. Believe me when I also say that I was sick of guys who were afraid of commitment and sent pictures of themselves on the toilet (if you’re a guy reading this, women don’t want to see the inside of your underwear — GROSS).

Without further ado, here are tips for all genders on dating apps:

  • Pick the pictures that best depict YOU — not some fake smile from a senior photo. I’m talking about your best feature, in your opinion.
  • Pick a picture of you when you were genuinely happy (e.g., graduation, in another country, etc.)
  • DON’T post a picture of yourself getting sh*t-faced or doing drugs. (PSA: please don’t do drugs.)
  • With that being said, an innocent picture of you and another person drinking something like champagne, a martini, or wine is appropriate.
  • Pick a picture of you and your friends (something recent, if applicable, I know it’s hard because we’ve been living three total years in a pandemic!).
  • DON’T post a picture of you and your ex girlfriend/boyfriend.
  • Pick a picture of you doing something you love (e.g., my boyfriend posted a picture of himself in front of BMW’s which he has a passion for — nothing more sexy than that).
  • Make your bio coherent and include what exactly you do for a living.
  • Have a witty response to one question and something serious in another.
  • If applicable, pick a picture of you and a family member, preferably a parent or mother/father figure.

I hope these help, and I wish you all godspeed on finding love in 2022!

xoxo,

April

How To Get Your Dream Job/Internship

When I was younger, I had dreams… I still do. I am a girl with dreams that turned into visions. These visions became reality. I dreamt of being a fashion designer, a lawyer, a doctor, now I’m living my dream as a writer.

I recently got a job at… drumroll please… MIT (Massachusetts Institute of Technology)! That’s right, I am going to be working in their communications department and I’m so excited to continue my career in content creating at one of the top higher institutions in the country.

How did I get here, you ask? Well, my first internship was actually in HIGH SCHOOL. So that’s what brings me to my first tip:

  1. Start Early: I said this in a few posts, and I’ll say it again: your major in college is bound to change. However, when you’re in high school, you’ll have interests in mind. My first internship was at Tufts Medical Center in Boston, which I LOVED! I was picked out of 30 applicants to be a volunteer intern, not just due to my high grades and GPA but due to my experience, as someone who lives with a cancer patient. With that being said, I worked in their oncology department. I thought, at the time, that I was going to be a chemistry major with a pre-law background. That was not the case at all. Again, things change, and everything happens for a reason.

2. Take Advantage of Every Opportunity in College

If there is something that is up your alley that you want to do, go for it, by all means necessary. Plus, employers like well-rounded students, so it’s 100% okay to have a lot of interests, as long as you’re not exhausting yourself. Me? I was involved in student politics and Title IX and I’m working in publishing.

3. Any Major Can Do Anything

There’s no doubt that with through every phase of your career (i.e. grad school, undergrad, PhD) that you’re going to wish you did something different. I mean come on, when I was in my first year of grad school, I thought I wanted to work at a veterinary clinic and actually looked into UPenn’s Veterinary program. As I was looking through the majors of the 2020 cohort, I noticed that some were English majors! But no matter what the prerequisites are, you better work b*tch. You want biology and chemistry courses? Take EdX courses! Better yet, these courses have certificate options so you can most definitely add those to your resume!

4. Just Go For It, Even If You Don’t Feel Qualified

I was a sophomore (for the second time) in college when I transferred to RWU. More than anything, I was wanting to write. And I wanted to write for a publication, a magazine at that. Most of you know that I interned for Rhode Island Monthly, and it was indubitably one of the best summers of my life. Having been in Rhode Island for a year, at the time, I wanted to write and edit for one of the premier magazines in the country, and nonetheless a household magazine. I even befriended Lily Herman, who was someone I looked up to greatly because she had her words published in elite publications (e.g. Teen Vogue). With that being said, NETWORK. Even though I felt slightly unqualified, I was getting ready to “kill or die” for an internship (yes, I did use that line — it worked).

What’s funnier than 24? Getting older? 25?| For the girl/boy/whomever about to turn 24.

This past year taught me more about adulting than any other. I’m not counting the time I cried in the financial aid office practically begging for more money in my junior year of college. Maybe it was because I was scared. Maybe it was because I, for once, would deal with finances bigger than my head. I say bigger than my head because my future is so much bigger and brighter. And yours is, too.

This past year, I’ve published two books, started graduate school, and got my first “big girl job” in the world of editing – all of this for the purpose of fulfilling my grad school career and beyond.

Never will I ever say I am ostensibly “washed up.” No. Nobody is. You are simply a new version of yourself. That’s advice #1. I might as well get into the list.

2.) Adulting may seem daunting, at first, and sometimes stressful. But there will come times that you will have to ask for help.

3.) I said this many, many times but being single is actually f—ing fantastic.

4.) Dating apps are not worth the aggravation.

5.) Friends with benefits are not a thing. I have not tried this, nor will I ever. DON’T F— YOUR FRIENDSHIPS.

6.) Where there’s a will, there’s a way. I don’t know where that’s from, but it’s true.

7.) The unfortunate art of “growing apart” hurts like an SOAB, but it’s a part of life and life is full of transitions.

8.) It’s okay if you’re still living with your parents. I am! In fact, a lot of graduate students have gone back home due to the pandemic to live with their ‘rents.

9.) Making an Instagram for your dog is okay. Yes, I made one for my Yellow Labrador, Brody, and you can follow him @goodestboybrody.

10.) It’s okay to stay up past midnight to have more “me time.”

11.) Take that once-in-a-lifetime opportunity because you never know if it’ll come back.

12.) You are worth so much more than a guy who just wants to sleep with you/go down on you.

13.) If you practice the law of attraction, manically manifesting/fixating will not help you.

14.) If you’re constantly feeling compared to, it’s not you. It’s them.

15.) It’s acceptable if you’re a little “all over the place” now. You’ll have it figured out — whatever “it” is.

16.) Take that chance and email that job/employer.

17.) Don’t knock it til you’ve tried it.

18.) You never lose, you learn.

19.) Pick something you want to improve and focus on it.

20.) It’s okay to walk away from something that no longer serves you.

21.) You’ll learn the value of acceptance and your intuition.

22.) You’ll know exactly what you want. Dreams don’t work unless you do.

23.) With that being said, don’t give up.

24.) Don’t give up, but take some time to rest and take care of yourself. Take a nap, sis. You deserve it.

I once said that I really wouldn’t want to be anybody else. And you know what? That’s actually true, and what’s funnier than 24? I actually believe when I say I am me and I love the me that I am. I don’t need SpongeBob or Patrick to laugh at that. Thank you, anyway!

xoxo and happy birthday!

April

15 Things To Do To Survive Quarantine

It feels like we’ve lived a full year in the past week, doesn’t it? And it’s only March 19th! So another thing happened, Tom Brady is no longer a Patriot, but a Tampa Bay Buccaneer. I promise this post will be less of a “brain dump” and “trying-to-process” post, like Thoughts on the Coronavirus: is 2020 the new 2012? No, we are afraid of fear, itself. The past two weeks have been turbulence of emotions and uncertainty. I just got off a Zoom “tech rehearsal” for my Senior Art Studio class, and I have to say, it’s better than nothing.

But other than that, here are some good tips on how to survive “staying at home” which is now referred to by the CDC as “quarantine.”

  1. Have a Chick Flick marathon!
  2. Have a horror movie marathon!
  3. Get take-out from Chomp
  4. Support artists
  5. Take a virtual tour of Versailles (I did that in person 6 years ago!)
  6. Download a book from NYPL
  7. Take virtual tours of art museums
  8. Start from a stack of books you have in your room already and work your way down! I recommend anything written by Rebecca Serle, especially In Five Years!
  9. Learn how to bake and cook!
  10. Facetime a friend/significant other
  11. Watch anything on Disney+
  12. Stop perusing social media so much! This only gets on your nerves more!
  13. Spend some time with your pets, especially if you have a cat like mine
  14. Do yoga at home
  15. Meditate

Things You Will Learn In College, As Told By A Second Semester Senior

Ahh, the things you do when you wake up at 5:30 A.M… draft a blog post that will actually help people? While watching “Sex and the City?” It’s like sophomore year all over again!

One episode of “Sex and the City” deals with 30-something-year-olds dealing with 20-something-year-olds. Carrie Bradshaw, being in her thirties, proposes the question, “Friend or Foe?” My first answer? Being a 23-year-old, WE’RE STILL LEARNING HOW TO NAVIGATE LIFE! GIVE US A BREAK! My second answer, maybe if you looked back on when you were 23, and what you knew, you’d empathize with us. You’re probably looking back on the mentors you had when you were in your twenties. These mentors could’ve been anybody. If you’ve just started college this past fall, or if you’re in a gap year, these rules of thumb should apply to you; you’re not left out! I said a lot about college in For the College Student(s) Having Doubts but there’s more where that came from!

  1. You don’t have to be a double major because it sounds cool.
  2. You don’t have to have a boyfriend freshman year.
  3. A “C” really isn’t that big of a deal.
  4. If you go to your professors with personal problems, you’d be amazed at how understanding they are.
  5. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, and question EVERYTHING. That is your job as a college student, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. If they do, make that argument.
  6. Not every professor understands mental health, but it is just as important as physical health. If you’re in a situation where a professor is ignorant of a mental health concern, tell somebody.
  7. Join a physical activity, no matter if it’s intramural or not.
  8. With that being said, try something new! Like a sorority or something.
  9. Internships are not only cool, but they give you a “leg up” in the real world.
  10. You will cherish sleep like no other.
  11. If you’re not 100%, or even 99% in love with your college, transfer.
  12. End of February-mid March and October are by the far the worst times of the school year. Why? Midterms! But the hard work will pay off.
  13. Don’t let anyone call you stupid, not even your closest friends.
  14. If any underclassmen give you shit, just smile and say “that’s cute/that’s cute you think you can intimidate me.” They should not be treating college like high school.
  15. Seek out that upperclassman you’ll look up to.
  16. BE the upperclassman that students look up to, for the right reasons.
  17. It’s 150% okay if you don’t “party.”
  18. If any high schooler from home asks if you “party,” tell them that’s not what college is all about.
  19. Getting drunk is yet another thing college isn’t about. The last thing you need is a hangover.
  20. PLEASE call your mom and/or dad, or your brother and/or sister. They miss you.
  21. PLEASE use your work-study to your advantage! Otherwise, it just goes to waste. Plus, it’s extra money in your pocket.
  22. You will have that mentor through work-study/payroll whatever you have! They’re important and will teach you everything you ever need to know.

So the final answer is, we twenty-something-year-olds want to be your friend! When in doubt, think of me as your mentor 😉 No, I’m totally kidding. But going into my second semester of senior year starting TOMORROW, these are some of the things I learned throughout my college career.

 

BLOG-MAS: How to Positively Survive Stress During the Holidays

I’ll be honest with you, at the beginning of the month, I sat in my therapist’s office… and cried. The holidays are stressful for some, others not so much. For me? I’ll be candid. The holidays have brought a lot of emotional baggage for the past four years, so basically, since I started college.

People tend to put a lot of pressure on the holidays. I was talking to one of my fellow writers, and she said, “I put a lot of pressure on special days to be extraordinary but sometimes they’re just a regular day with a little extra ‘pizazz.'” For some people, the holidays can bring back unpleasant memories, while others may be struggling to make ends meet and actually put something under the tree, or simply stocking stuffers! I almost didn’t get a tree this year! People could be grieving, while there are those who thrive on social media posting pictures with captions like Merry Chrysler! but don’t let those pictures fool you, social media has a way of hiding stuff “behind the camera–” the things not seen. I’m surprised if there’s someone out there with not the least bit of baggage around the holidays, and I’m not being negative here!

But here are a few tips to survive any aspect of the holiday season:

  1.  Pray or meditate. I know there may be so much to do, but even if you’re a parent wrapping gifts for the kids, a simple meditation (while the kids are sleeping) will help.
  2. When in doubt, make gifts! If you’re crafty, I’m sure you can make something even if it’s a pinecone elf! There are other things to do like writing a poem or making a video!
  3. Journal. I cannot stress this enough. I especially recommend Junk Journaling — I’ve been following Katy Bellotte’s journaling methods, and I LOVE it. I even asked for glue sticks and washi tape for Christmas!
  4. Donate to a cause you care about, even if it’s just a dollar. This year my mom donated to one of my favorite causes, Women for Women. I SUGGEST YOU DONATE, TOO!
  5. Volunteer someplace. Giving blood helps, too especially during the winter.

Here’s an example of “Junk Journaling:”

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BLOG-MAS TUESDAY: April’s Guide to Surviving Finals Week

Taking a break from writing a paper, and currently wrapped up in the stress of finals week. Finals week can be tough, especially when there’s a lot to do. I only have two written finals, but this paper for African Literature has my eyes red and puffy and my stomach in knots. I feel like that acne commercial with Emma Roberts: “I stress out then I break out… then I stress out even more!” Unintentionally said finals week can make your skin break out like no other. 🎶So, you better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout I’m telling you why: FINALS WEEK IS GOING TO BE OKAY!🎶

  1.  Let it all out when you need to do so. By that, I mean cry. Crying is healthy. It doesn’t help when it’s all bottled up.
  2. Don’t leave things to the last minute.
  3. Drink WATER 💦 no one can live on just coffee.
  4. With that being said, eat your nutrients. I’m not talking about fatty foods but get some stirfry, eggs, or sushi. Don’t skip a meal — it’s not good for you!
  5. Book a meeting with your therapist or counselor, if you have one.
  6. If you have a job on campus, I’m sure your supervisor won’t mind if you take an hour off to do final projects.
  7. Take your medications and/or vitamins.
  8. Go to your school’s tutoring center if you have last-minute finals questions.
  9. Take Reading Days to your full advantage and STUDY.
  10. Take care of your skin. I use KORRES Wild Rose Vitamin C Brightening Sleeping Facial.
  11. Clear a little space in your dorm/room/apartment (no matter where you live while going to school). Studies have shown that having a cluttered room increases anxiety.
  12. Reward yourself with a glass of white/red wine after finals, a day with your sweetheart, or a much-needed nap. You deserve it all!

If you’re stressing about grades, just know that they really are just grades, but you WILL pass finals, I garauntee you.

Here’s some inspirational quotes that’ll hopefully lift your spirits:

Good luck!

xoxo

April 💕

 

For the College Student(s) Having Doubts

College really is hard. I remember when I first started college at SAC, I wasn’t sure how to balance school work and more friends than I ever had in my entire life! (Sad, but it’s true).

I’m just going to cut to the chase in this blog post (I get it, it’s my third one in a week, but my Instagram polls do not lie when people want to read more! Thank you to those who said ‘yes!’)

  1. It is indubitable that you will discover the wonders of alcohol in college. But in my senior year, I can tell you that it’s really not worth getting black/browned out drunk, no matter how stressed you are. (Yes, ‘browned out’ is an actual term).
  2. Investing in a planner, especially the right one, is totally worth it. It’s like wearing the right bra!
  3. Transferring is okay, even if that means adding an extra semester (or year) to school.
  4. Seeking counseling in college is also okay. Yes, all schools have counseling centers, depending on which one you go to.
  5. You won’t know what you’re interested in until perhaps your junior year of college. Some people find out in their freshman year, but it’s okay if you haven’t found your passion, just yet.
  6. College is not like high school, I can promise you that. I’m talking socially. There will be people who clearly haven’t matured, yet. But that’s their problem, not yours.
  7. “Rate My Professor.com” will be one of your best buddies. A subject that’s worth pursuing could be a hit or miss depending on the professor. However, I did learn from a peer mentor that some comments written about a professor are primarily students that don’t put in their best effort.
  8. With that being said, build relationships with faculty and staff! You may just get good recommendations!
  9. Go with your gut when it comes to pursuing a major. It may take about 5-6 tries (like me) but the classes you take will actually boost your resume and cover letters!
  10. Going off of that, no matter which major you choose, I promise you can do anything with it. For example, I’m a Creative Writing major who plans on going into law. That wasn’t always the case. But internships you’ve had will also boost your resume!
  11. You don’t have to have a “set” plan after graduation, but you need to at least have a plan B or C. My mom had to go far as to plan K!
  12. No one said you had to go to graduate school right away! I guess it’s time to share a life update: I’m not going to law school right away!
  13. I recommend getting a job or an internship before you graduate undergrad. Those definitely help you figure out what you want to do. Even if you’re not in college, this is the ideal situation.
  14. It’s no big deal if you don’t study abroad. I had plans to but didn’t. Everything happens for a reason.
  15. Like I said in For the Girl About to Turn 22 | Welcome to My Jordan Year (23), you don’t have to have a cool job right after graduation. I know people who didn’t find the right one until 2 years after undergrad!
  16. Life happens and you may have to take time off, it’s no big deal!
  17. In a year from now, whether you graduate summa, magna, or cum laude, that’s going to matter. Not that it even matters if you graduate with honors or not.

 

Conquering Anxiety And Achieving Well-Being, Overall

In “Sex and the City: the movie” Charlotte mentions to Carrie she hasn’t been running because her anxieties about life are stopping her. I remember when I wrote Fitness, Fashion, and Time Management, I was in a terrific state both physically and mentally, ultimately providing myself with a healthy lifestyle by working out (almost) every day and getting a salad and drinking plenty of water. Come to the end of that semester, I found myself falling off the rail and into some (very) unhealthy habits. This was due to the stress of finding a job and taking a whopping SIX CLASSES two semesters in a row. This only led me down the rabbit hole of doubt. It wasn’t until the end of the Spring 2019 semester, that I learned the importance of balance (which may seem like a course on repeat.)

Balance is essential. Mental health and physical health go hand-in-hand and balance each other out. Your education, relationships (with yourself and other people), work, and overall well-being need equal attention, which can prove itself to be difficult. No one is 100% “on top of their sh*t” 24/7. Nobody’s perfect. Life happens. But it’s important, like I said in Empower Not Tower: It’s Okay To Fall Sometimes, As Long As You Can Pick Yourself Back Up Again — the title speaks for itself! And can I just say that drinking a lot of coffee and/or alcohol does NOT help? It doesn’t. In fact, it’s actually self-medicating.

The best kind of medication without making yourself sick is 1) tea and 2) therapy. Tonight I saw a tweet by a fellow writer who was struggling with health anxiety and (for ladies, only) period stuff with accompanying physical ailments. That accurately described what I was feeling this afternoon (and prompted me to write this post.)

On the topic of therapy, I see my therapist every two weeks, just to check-in. I’ve been going to therapy since I was a freshman in high school. I’ll be honest, there were extended periods of time when I ignored therapy and didn’t make appointments. Let’s be real, a diabetic doesn’t not take their insulin because they “don’t have time.” With mental health, it’s the same concept. I remember when I used to always keep saying “I don’t have time,” and “I don’t have time to ‘make time!'” For this, this, and that, I kept using that same excuse. In fact, when people told me I needed to make time, I got pretty annoyed it hit a nerve. Now, I’m understanding the importance of it.

This brings me to my next point: you can as they say in the movie, “Tammy,” “bitch and moan” about something, or, you can do something about it. As I used to preach all the time in my Insta-stories, if you want something to happen, YOU 👏 HAVE 👏 TO 👏 MAKE 👏 IT 👏 HAPPEN.

NO EXCEPTIONS!!!!!!!!!!

Nothing is impossible, remember that. And as to paraphrase what it says in the Bible: “The LORD helps those who help themselves.” Life is truly a blessing. So live it to the fullest and in the healthiest possible way.

This is an example of what I like to call a ROUTINE:

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No, you do not have to get up at 5:30 AM unless you’re really feeling ambitious. But a routine helps to ease the anxiousness.

In fact, by the time this goes up, I will be in bed getting my beauty sleep and getting up at a good hour for a jog.

Thank you for listening to my “Ted Talk.”  😊

xoxoxo,

April 😘💕

School Starts Soon (Plus Healthy Tips On How To Stay Organized and ‘On Track’)

It’s that time of year again when back-to-school commercials start airing on television and everyone is dreading the thought of going back to school, no matter if you are in middle school, high school, or college. I’ve grown from being that nervous-as-hell first-grader, not knowing what to expect to the point of tears to actually loving the first day of school/classes!

I value my education more than anything in the world, and it’s become imperative for me to get the most out of my college education. No, I do not mean partying. [What may surprise some people is that I’m not exactly a “party girl.”] I’m not shaming anyone who does, but I’m telling those high schoolers who read my blog that it really isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be, and not what college is all about, no matter what films try to tell us.

Nevertheless, what I mean by getting the most out of my college education is getting involved and getting good grades; then there’s the occasional “letting loose.” One thing I’ve learned, as said in Burnt Out, is how to stay organized. I mentioned in that particular post that I was constantly tired — not because of the 8:00 AM Management classes — but because I didn’t have a set schedule nor did I have a to-do-list and often gave into my anxieties and napped a lot. I’ve come to realize that having a set and pre-filled agenda is a must-have when you’re a [busy] college student. Thus, I went to CVS on a whim, bought an extensive agenda, and filled out the month of August to the best of my ability.

Take a look:

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Bullet journals help, as well. Plus, they’re extremely fun to fill out!

But don’t forget to fill in time spent with friends, boyfriends/girlfriends, and family! Needless to say, I’m not even close to being done filling out the month of August, yet. And this is just August — wait till you see my upcoming “week in the life” coming in September!

If you do find yourself burnt out and exhausted while doing homework, go for a run/walk, grab yourself a smoothie, coffee, soda, etc. and get back to doing your work. On that topic, it’s important to nourish yourself throughout each and every day, without breaking your budget, of course!

Be productive. It’s okay to fall off the rail once in a while and just be bored and sit in one place, so that’s why I chose what I explained in The Two Tips To Achieve Self Love, and to have something to do each day, aside from classes. Go to the gym, volunteer, or read a book (yes, those still exist. Reading is fun!) Yes, I will be posting weekly in accordance with my schedule. It’s not enough just to think about what you’re going to do every day; you need to write it down and it will happen. It’s like making yourself a promise, as well as manifesting, which I touch upon in Self-Care and Spirituality Tips. Mercury is luckily out of retrograde this time around, so no worries here!

As always, I wish you all Godspeed and best of luck in school, no matter what year/grade you’re in.

xoxo

April 😘💕